Misery

Where is the Libra hiding?

I wonder.. 

During my school days, everyone knows me. I could join a new club and get a post easily. Competition? Muka ni mesti ada. Poem reciting, story telling, speeches and shits. I was an active member of the Red Cross Society that I wouldn't bother participating in sports cuz everyone knows what I'd be doing. So called Ketua Biro Moral in my prefects team but lol, never cared about the rules. My wardrobe was always full of blouses and dresses. I had tons of earrings and bracelets and.. gahh. Boys? Pft. Serial monogamist kot. I'm a sucker for relationships. It doesn't work out? Worry not, we're still young and poof, breakup. Lol luckily I still have the brain to not just accept everyone. And OMG I joined every single camping activity held that I quit SMC on the first two months itself for joining 4 campings already!

And then I joined college.. Funnily enough, muka ni still muka ketua kumpulan for every single shiat without even having me volunteering myself. But I can't  find myself in any sort of activities at all. Suha calls me padipaali (nerd) but lol I'm just lazy. I still have dresses in my wardrobe but I make sure I have my stockings and pantyhose or cardigan. I have no heels! Bought Vans for my dresses and my girly ass friend was horrified. Hahaha. Still a hopeless romantic but after my previous relationship and friendship with my 'bestie' failed, I became lost.. I believe that I fell in love, you know. But I lost trust in myself. I question myself way too much. I don't believe I have anything to offer him. My high school friend couldn't believe that this is me, actually considering things before being honest.(which I'm not planning to do at all) It hurts, sometimes cuz I found myself drowning, in my own ocean... HECK, I stopped sharing things to anyone and keeping everything to myself and aaaaah it's getting late for me.. Gbye. 

Where are you, Shanu? :( 

Wanderlust

Imagine going on a long drive to somewhere new. With chocolate ice cream tub on your lap, screaming your heart out on big, spacy road, singing out loud all the way to the place. Settling down at somewhere high,  lying down with your companion,  enjoying chilled chamomile tea and dark chocolate bites and maybe even watching some good movie. Or just have some chilled cider and allow yourself to .. I don't know. I can only wonder. . :)