How the last chapter of 2014 began.

Hi! I know I'm not as active as before on blogger but my blog is not dead (answer to the question on my ask.fm lol)

Anyway, I don't know if I'll be rajin enough to write about every month in 2014 as we bloggers usually do before welcoming new year, so I'll just post as usual.

I'm glad my December is eye opening and full of lessons. I had few rough nights but hey, I got up and learnt. 

Started the month with a good outing with sis and mom to get me my first saree and honestly, I didn't know what to choose so I randomly picked a red one.

Too simple? Boring? I don't know. Haha

Oh here's the best part. Anjappar's briyani!! Damn they were the bomb. Of course, I prefer ABC's banana leaf meal and Saravana Bhavan wins the vegetarian meal.

What else? Oh NU Sentral's Christmas deco was amazing. Went there w my sis to pass cheese brownies order.

The short haired sis went long and tge long haired went short. Lol I don't know how some people get confused with us. 

She got me the adventurer hat. Lol reminds me of my fav player in MetalSlug back then. Guess who?

Ended the day with the best nasi lemak I've ever tasted. My favourite Wawan. <3

I'll post the rest soon since this post is getting too long haha.

Anyway, here's my cheese brownies and Krispy chocolate brownies picture. :3

Krispy Chocolates,salted peanuts, chocolate ganache. :3

Marble Cream Cheese Brownies. Do checkout @lilchefjoypastries on Ig. :3

Oh before I say goodbye, dear creep is back home. Oh how I wish to be back there too. Will miss (missing actually) that pretty face of his. :/

Bye bye till next time.

Here's a song. x

The Way of Love

When you meet a boy

That you like a lot

And you fall in love

But he loves you not

If a flame should start

As you hold him near

Better keep your heart

Out of danger, dear

For the way of love

Is a way of woe

And the day may come

When you'll see him go

Then what will you do

When he sets you free?

Read more: Cher - The Way Of Love Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

GRADUATION !

Three nights earlier, I was terribly upset with everything around me, my life, situation at home, past, future, present, everything and no, I was not on my period.
I cried to bed, as early as 9pm, with pillows all wet, face covered with blanket, nose clogged, it was terribly stupid and depressing that I woke up with puffy eyes.

Cuz words alone are not enough lol and for once, my eyes were not that small. haha

But yeah, to make things worse, I skipped breakfast and when I checked for lunch at home, there was only dhal curry. :|

And of course, no food ; no life ; no mood ; depression rofl

Dramatic, I know. Sad girls are the worst thing ever.

And so I thought, there's no way I'm being all sad and upset with my family when my graduation is just 3 days away!
Luckily enough, my favourite man (Jesus in man's form lol) was free yay!
We made last minute plan for lunch (not exactly lunch cuz he arrived around 5pm) and I don't know mannnnn, I grinned from ear to ear as soon as I saw him! Had so much laughter and being bullied by him was never an issue, of course lol.

Oh I adore him (and his pretty face) so much

It felt like the good old time - well not exactly old times lol but yeah. It felt so nice to finally get back to my usual annoying self after I came back from JB mooooonths ago. 

And of course, the gentleman *cough* offered to send me home and to my surprise, he left me right in front of my house even when I asked him to drop me at the nearest bus stop, Since I adore him so much (I was feeling bad cuz he came in the rain all wet, wearing slippers actually lol), got him a little something and chocolate. 

Went back home, all smiley, and mom was not mad eventhough I came back late and yeah! I WAS BACK TO NORMAL WOOOHOOOOO ! Love you for this, dear creep.

And yes! Back to what this post is supposed to be about, GRADUATION! :D

Right after we all received out sroll (thanks for the flowers, akka, amma and appa. <3)

There you go, my tired, awkward smiley hehehehehe. :3

Right after we got our dress, before the convocation starts. :D
Meet the ones that were with me during my last semester! 

Mas Aidil down there. I couldn't contain my hyperness when I saw him getting his scroll and screamed Mas Aidil!! and everyone around laughed lol. :D 

And of course, I couldn't have gotten my diploma without my pillar of strength, family, Brother was not around. Thank you, my loves. :')

Andddd.... yep. That's all! I don't know what to write about the convocation hahahahaha but it was so nice to finally show appa the place I studied at and he was so happy, watching around, meeting my chefs, enjoying the foods provided. It was overall a happy day. And I felt pretty! Hahahaha. Thank you amma for the lovely suit. <3

One does not simply leave my college without the amazing wall full of celebrity chefs that have visited our place. ;) Hahaha, it was a candid, honestly. 

Yep, that's all! Thank you for reading. 

Till next time, your lil chef. <3 x

Happiness.

Happiness to me, is to bake all day long and spend the night with loved ones. I don't mind not getting enough sleep, I don't mind bossy leaders, I don't mind annoying customers, I don;t mind as long as no one stops me from baking.

I'm graduating next week and I've been working on on my little online business  but here's the thing about working from home at such young age. You stay in other people's house. I know, it's your parents', but still, it's time for you to step out and start living on your own. It gets a bit annoying when I need to try out new recipes and practice my piping skills and stuff but the people around you would still see it this way ; wasted money. wasted time. what's the point if you're not selling it.

But. Is it wrong to make sure my products are really good before selling it? I mean like, come on. People don't repeat orders for my brownies just because it was my first brownies recipe. NO. It's because I tried it so many times and finally found the good recipe that everyone loves.

And about money, it's not like I'm asking money from anyone..

It's sad, really. I would leave this business and start working in a hotel. Infact, I want to go back to JB. I have offers there. But mom is so reluctant, saying that JB is so far away when my own brother is just there. I can work in other hotels, I know, but I can't be doing it from home when I got no transportation! Don't tell me to rely on public transportation during night shift. Don't tell me to actually ask for morning shift. And please, don't tell me to work in some random ass cafe or restaurants. I did not study for nothing. 

This sadness is turning into frustration lol sorry. 

'till next time, loves. x 

M&M Chocolate Cake

Hey guys!

I'm so sorry for not updating my blog as frequent as I used to but hey! I'm updating now. ;) so Hello and Happy November!

I've decided to start a small business on my own before starting my career (early 2015 if possible) and the support was amazing, thanks to my Facebook friends. Last month, a friend of mine asked if I could bake any kind of cake using M&M and I immediately thought of the M&M cake with Kit Kats tied with a big ribbon around it but it's a bit too pricey so I thought of making something more affordable with generous amount of chocolate buttercream buttercream and oreos. And yay! It was a success! :D

This is how it looks like on the inside ;

4 Layers of Chocolate buttercake with two different shades of brown colour. :D 

So what do you think of it? Let me know alright! :D 

These are my other products for now. 

More to come. Thanks for those who've been supporting me and showering me with tons of ideas. :)

'till next time, your lilchef. x

Neapolitan Cake

Heeeeyyy bloggy! 

I've been drooling over foodporns on Tumblr last week and I could not take my eyes off this beaaautiful Neapolitan cake with layers of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla cake! I decided to do whatever it takes to try baking it, so the next few days itself, I made a shopping spree to the supermarket. Teheee. 

My kind of shopping. ;p

Soooo yea, I spent hours baking the cakes yesterday as I'm using a small oven at home and my mixer is a bit cuckoo. I HAD TO MIX IT BY HAND!;( 

*KITCHEN AID'S MIXER AND A BIG OVEN IS ALL I WANT RIGHT NOW T.T*

I personally think that the cakes were super cute. Lols, they're just 7x7 inch cake. Oh, I love the colours!

And then the struggle started...

The buttercream turned out super fluffy and well beaten!

Until I start piping...

...

....

.....

...

..

.

.

.

I COULD NOT PIPE THE ROSES PROPERLY! :(

The end result..

And this.. is how it looks on the inside.

I have to say I'm quite disappointed with the outcome, but hey! There's always room for improvement. :)

Hope to make a better one next time. 

What do you think about my cake? Drop a comment!

Thanks for reading. Tehee. x

Empty.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark,

same old EMPTY feeling in your heart.

Just another night

Here am I, sleepless again

tears rolling down my cheeks

How do I move on

Tell me

How do I move on 

when the only way to move on..

..is by forgetting us 

Sebak.

When I first came back from internship, I was so happy to be home after 4 months away from my bed, teddy and of course,  mom.

But I couldn't help myself from reminiscing the memories in JB. I remember how I was loved by everyone there.. I remember how I used to spend my  nights and off days there.. The nights are so unforgettable it's been holding my back from being sociable as I were before.  I find it hard to truly laugh and enjoy myself here.  As days pass, I'm learning to sleep again at night and laugh more genuinely but at times like this, it just kills me. It kills me so much that I'd do anything to actually go back to the beginning of the year once again.  Of course,  it will never happen. I don't know if I would ever see JB the same again if I go back there again some day. But what kills me the most that it gives me smile and not regret to think of those days. I find it easier to hate and move on rather than being like this. But the worst part is.. when I don't even know if I actually want to move on. 

Misery

Where is the Libra hiding?

I wonder.. 

During my school days, everyone knows me. I could join a new club and get a post easily. Competition? Muka ni mesti ada. Poem reciting, story telling, speeches and shits. I was an active member of the Red Cross Society that I wouldn't bother participating in sports cuz everyone knows what I'd be doing. So called Ketua Biro Moral in my prefects team but lol, never cared about the rules. My wardrobe was always full of blouses and dresses. I had tons of earrings and bracelets and.. gahh. Boys? Pft. Serial monogamist kot. I'm a sucker for relationships. It doesn't work out? Worry not, we're still young and poof, breakup. Lol luckily I still have the brain to not just accept everyone. And OMG I joined every single camping activity held that I quit SMC on the first two months itself for joining 4 campings already!

And then I joined college.. Funnily enough, muka ni still muka ketua kumpulan for every single shiat without even having me volunteering myself. But I can't  find myself in any sort of activities at all. Suha calls me padipaali (nerd) but lol I'm just lazy. I still have dresses in my wardrobe but I make sure I have my stockings and pantyhose or cardigan. I have no heels! Bought Vans for my dresses and my girly ass friend was horrified. Hahaha. Still a hopeless romantic but after my previous relationship and friendship with my 'bestie' failed, I became lost.. I believe that I fell in love, you know. But I lost trust in myself. I question myself way too much. I don't believe I have anything to offer him. My high school friend couldn't believe that this is me, actually considering things before being honest.(which I'm not planning to do at all) It hurts, sometimes cuz I found myself drowning, in my own ocean... HECK, I stopped sharing things to anyone and keeping everything to myself and aaaaah it's getting late for me.. Gbye. 

Where are you, Shanu? :( 

Wanderlust

Imagine going on a long drive to somewhere new. With chocolate ice cream tub on your lap, screaming your heart out on big, spacy road, singing out loud all the way to the place. Settling down at somewhere high,  lying down with your companion,  enjoying chilled chamomile tea and dark chocolate bites and maybe even watching some good movie. Or just have some chilled cider and allow yourself to .. I don't know. I can only wonder. . :) 

Mother

She came all the way to college by bus today and waited for my class to end.. For a lady who sees Starbucks as a waste of money, it makes me wonder why she's pulled me to Starbucks and ask me to order whatever I want even when I say I'd rather have teh tarik at mamak.. How I wish she never grows old..

A mother's love. 

Greatest of all. 

A Day Well Spent

Meet the kakaks here. Kak Mar and Kak Sara. ♡

Spent the morning at work sharing stories with the beloved sisters. After having yummy lunch in the kitchen,  Kak Sara suggested an outing at Danga Bay! She brought me there right after work around 4pm. 

The place was sooooo amazing!

Country Garden.  Cantikkk!

Beautiful Kak Sara ♡

Teheee.

:)

Byeeee :))

Spent some relaxing time there and we decided to have dinnerrr! She brought me all the way to Kampung Melayu for their yummy ABC and came back to Stulang Laut for steamboat by the seasideee! :D

Makannnn :D

Said our goodbyes around 6:30pm. Thanks for the lovely day out Kak Sara. ♡

Happy Birthday dear Mother.

This lady is the the strongest person I've ever known in my life. The pains that she went through,  the things that she's enduring now, the life she's living just for the sake of me, anne and akka is definitely not something that I will even think of forgetting. It's always been so hard to see her smile. My good exam results and whatever nonsense I try to win is always dedicated for her. Cuz I know, her happiness is looking at her child's achievement. Her smile and calmness now is everything I've ever dreamed of and I hope it will last forever.  Many More Happy Returns of the Day Maa.  You're the  best. Love you always. ♡

Random thoughts.

Never assume that they don't love you just because what they do to show their love is not up to your expectations. Everyone is different in their own way. And by that, it means that the way they express their feelings are different too.  Just... don't kill a relationship just because of some silly fantasy you dream of. Learn to accept your partner the way they are cuz admit it dear, you wish the same from him/her too. 

It was a beautiful night.

Unexpected adventure!

Spent the whole day baking muffins on Monday. Since Richard's best friend,  Amirul was asking for my muffns, packed Richie some of each flavour. And then his friend,  Sattian anne and Ashwanii wanted some too so I took quite a lot of them. Since my friend's staying over at her aunt's house on Wednesday night, I went out with Richard for supper and to pass him the muffins.  :)

Pandan, chocolate,  blueberry,  strawberry and lemon! Two trays each!  :3

He's supposed to go back home to bring another car cuz his Vitamin C only has the driver seat but he couldn't open the house gate! I had to sit right in the middle of the car behind him without any seat! The car was super speed somemore.  Sooo much fun! xD

Only driver seat weiii. Hahaha

Went to McD and I had Oreo McFlurryyyy. Ice cream in the mid of night baby. Nyahaha. . Spent some time sharing pictures and stories and he read my tweets and all.

 He got tired after some time and it was late already (I'm supposed to wake up at 6am) so we decided to leave but I didn't feel like it cuz I was wide awakeee. Guess what happened on our  way back to The Zon?

His car ran out of fuel! He got serious but I couldn't hold my laughter and we both burst out laughing.  XD

His friend was not picking up the phone so we walked to the petrol station! Soooo much fun, I swear. Filled up a bottle of petrol and walked back to the car and I was finally homeee. Slept at 4:20 and woke up two hours later. XD

K my chef's back. Baaaaai.

A day to remember.  :))

People. You can ignore this post.

Staying far away from home is definitely changing me.  I've been spending time thinking about literally everything whenever I'm alone in my room. The people I'm spending time with,  who really bothers to keep in touch with me,  who really cares about me and my life,  everything.  

When I was in night shift, I became close with my senior workmate. She's very caring and extremely understanding.  She tells me things that she often hide from people of her same religion,  about her love life, the real her, almost everything.  The things that she do might be wrong,  but the way she knows her limit really caught my attention.  Definitely something to be learnt. 

And then there's this gay friend of her.  He looks extremely classy, the way he talks,  walks,  move, everything.  But he never disrespected me. Even though I don't really respond to his stories of skimming guys' money, brands and craps,  he was extremely. .. respectful.  

Not to be forgotten,  my dearest munchkin.  The distance between us didn't change a thing about how we keep each other updated about life. When I came here, I honestly thought that we will eventually learn to forget each other or blehhh.. but no.. aaahhh.. I miss her so friggin much.  

Oh and Amu! Spent a longgg night with him otp. It's been months since I last talked to him. I won't even reply his messages sometimes.  But last night, he called to share with me about his love life (more to 4 years crush life). It was so much fun until he  asked about mineeee. Still regretting for taking up his advise on trying luck. Cam bodohhhhh. K. I emo. Byeee till next time. -_-

Good week.

It's a very good week. 

Working in the evening shift, I learned a lot about people around me in JB. Workmates, friends and even my own brother. 

For the very first time, I went out for supper. With Richard,  of course.  He was sooo sick. xD 

He wanted to eat bubur so I just had the same la.. Amma's never gonna believe I actually finished one whole bowl if bubur. xD

The sick child. :p

And then on Thursday,  my brother cameeee. We were supposed to meet for lunch but I waited until 5pm cuz he had some series of unfortunate event. :p 

He came with kiwi Swiss roll with blueberry filling and apologised for ruining my off day. Nyahaha. Here's the best part, he actually opened about his life to me asking for my opinion and all! There was this one sentence that really caught my attention.  

He actually said that me and my sis are the reason for the change in himself.  :') 

But it was sooooo awkward when I was showing him how my Thaipusam went and he was like , "Why is your album full of his pictures?  You have a crush on him?" Not gonna elaborate more on this part. Awkward weii! 

Seafood with Anne. :D

K, I'm tired of typing on phone. Bye bye till next timeee! ♡

New Year. :)

"New Year, new life". I don't care how lame it sounds like cuz my new year is definitely a whole new life for me. Currently in Johor Bahru, doing my internship in pastry department in a hotel here.

All my workmates thought that I'm a malay until they see my name tag. Muahaha.  Confusing everyone without my pottu.  

Oh, before I start,  HAAAAAAAI! ♥

Okay. My internship. Please don't ask why I chose JB when everyone else are doing it in KL cuz I seriously have no idea at all. I "followed my heart" k. :p

Being in the pastry department is sooooo much fun for me cuz a hugeee baking area is all I ever dreamed off! I can bake bake and bake all I want (and eat too!). Sadly, I'm gonna be in the pastry department for just two months cuz we're supposed to work in at least 2 departments to complete our internnn.

Being in JB, I did the most foolish crap ever by contacting Mr. S. Met. Cried after so long. Regretting. Lectured by the bestie.  Not planning to regret. Again. Enough is enough.

Oh, but meeting the creep was the best decision ever cuz I got to celebrate Thaipusam with him and his kind friends!  I was literally shadowing behind him the whole time tho. :3

Meet the kind hearted creep.  :)

How my Thaipusam 2014 went :3

Pictures stolen from the cweep. Nyahaha.  

Lost everything I had in mind to share here after my brother called . Soooo tired weii. Worked overtime today since my collegemate went to her aunt's house. Will post more pictures sooon. Kbaaaaaaai till next time.